I have, myself, often struggled with the concept of "success." And yet this seems to be what so many people strive for. What does it mean to be successful in life, and in our career.

When I first began developing my own business, I was overwhelmed with anxiety and fear. Much of it was unfounded. As I sat and made attempts to work through the anxiety, my mind led me on a series of mazes, and each led to increasing amounts of self-doubt and confusion. I soon discovered that it is not always through thinking that we receive clarity of thought, and sometimes it is our vision that needs to be adjusted.

If we go out into the world with the goal of success, we will inadvertently begin to question and doubt ourselves, and this will often lead to self doubt and confusion. As soon as we begin to question, what do we need to improve, how do we become better, it can be a mixed response.

If we ask ourselves- how can we be of service to others? The answers might come easier. When we ask ourselves about how we can be of service to others, it takes some of that self-aggrandizing weight and places it on the people we long to help most- our clients. What is it we hope to bring to them? This question still allows us to examine and bring to light our talents, gifts, abilities, and compassion. In fact, it puts our greatest gifts in the forefront. When we ask- how can we be of service, the ego does not have as much room to interfere. Because we do not have to aspire to some level of perfect or success to be of service. We already know this. And yet, the world does not want our perfect, they want our authentiticity; they want us to provide something real.

As for life, needless to say, I have often been overwhelmed with anxiety when asked that question- what are you going to do in order to succeed? Or how will you even manage life? Sometimes, some days, it can feel like a gargantuan task to get through the day, and it never occurs perfectly. So how can one even hope to be successful?

I've learned through working with people of various personality types that there is a central theme we all share: the desire to grow. Life can be unfair. It can deal us unfair hands; illness, death, divorce, loss, it can fall upon us all. And it is often the suffering we endure that can lead us to not only becoming stronger, but also more aware of our deepest capacities. To live an easy life is to never reveal just how much capacity we have for growth. How can we ever see the full expanse of our wings if we are never expected to even fly?

So when asked- how can I grow? How can I grow from this? That is a question that may make everything make more sense. It may not make life less painful, but it may lead to a vision, a deeper understanding, and to ways that we can still create a life of meaning and beauty, even in times of pain, stress and difficulty.